Are you settling for less than you really want?

Are your dreams constantly just out of reach?

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to do the things you need to do to accomplish your goals?

It's time to get really honest with ourselves...

People tend to hate it when I say that, but it's true. If you are not, at the very least, willing to be willing to be honest with yourself, then you are self sabotaging. It starts with a decision. Are you willing to be willing to be honest with yourself about how you may be standing in your own way?

1. We can all play the victim...I know I have. And sometimes I catch myself going back to the convenient "poor me" stories my ego loves to embrace. We like to blame the economy, the government, the price of gas, our bodies, our diagnosis, our parents, our partners, our kids, our education, our employers, employees or clients, the weather...you name it! Take a moment to FEEL the energy of all of that. Do you feel dis-empowered? I know I do! Sure, maybe it feels good for a moment. Maybe it feels good to say, "poor me...this is the way it is and there is nothing I can do about it." But after that split second, I feel helpless, hopeless, small and trapped! But here is the truth...we can all take responsibility for our lives.

Responsibility simply means the ability to respond. We get to choose how we respond. We can focus on being a victim, noticing all of the things that are "missing," going wrong, not working and happening beyond our control. Or we can focus on what IS working, what we do have and the things we can change and control. And...we don't have to do it all alone. We can reach out and ask for help. Asking for support and being supportable is a beautiful way to be response-able.

When we are focusing on things that are going wrong and not working and we are blaming others...we are self sabotaging.

2. Fear and anxiety have a way of getting the better of us. Sometimes our thoughts about the future are so intense and distracting they actually take away from our ability to live in the present moment. We "what if?" all over the place and get ourselves all worked up. Sometimes these fears are so intense they paralyze us, stop us in our tracks and we take no action at all. We spend so much time weighing out all the possible terrible thing that could happen that we miss opportunities. Opportunities just pass us by. I've been there and I've seen it with my clients...."what if this doesn't work?" But "what if" it does?

When we find ourselves stuck in fear and anxiety and unable to make any decision at all...we are self sabotaging.

3. Raise your hand if you have ever felt worthless. Ugh! If you are not raising your hand, Congratulations...you are in the minority. Most of us have felt the heavy, aching pain of "I'm not good enough." We compare ourselves to others and convince ourselves that "they have it all figured out" and they are "good enough." We, however, are clearly "not good enough" and therefore must not deserve the things we want in life. It sounds so ridiculous doesn't it? Of course you are enough. You are more than enough!!

When we stir around in feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy, we are engaging in self sabotage.

4. Have you ever been succeeding at something and feeling really good about it, but then suddenly find yourself doing everything you can to put on the brakes to success?

When we get what we want and then lose it or move towards our desires and then stop ourselves in our tracks, we are self sabotaging.

I have listed only 4 of the common signs of self sabotage, but here's the reframe...

When we participate in self sabotage it is really just an attempt at self preservation. The status quo might not be the greatest life we have ever imagined, but it's a life we know how to live. Even if it's uncomfortable....it's familiar. Our ego mind likes familiar. We "get it." We know how to live the way we live.  We know how to dream. Our Spirit calls us to dream and dream big. If we keep our dreams at a distance, just out of reach, we don't ever have to find out if we could really live that life. But going after our dreams, trusting that inner guidance, that calling...that's scary. What if we allow our dreams to come true and then find out that life is not all it was cracked up to be?

But what if it is?

What if that version of life is the life you were meant to live?

We all have an innate force within us that acts as an internal guidance system. This guidance (some call it intuition) comes to us in various ways. We might hear it, see images, or have "gut feelings" about things. We all have it, we always will have it and there is no way that we can "lose" it. It is just a part of our make up.

When we are being guided by this energy the message is clear, commanding, direct, focused, calm and loving. We might not be given all of the information (the how can I, the why should I, etc) but we are clearly given the very next step.

The thoughts that are urgent, aggressive, scattered, demanding and frantic are not that force...that's another force. That's the ego doing its job. The ego's job is to keep us safe and secure in the limited thoughts that we adopted along the way because, at the time, those beliefs were necessary for our personal survival.

Today I am inviting you to be guided by your loving guidance system...

Be willing to receive that guidance

Be willing to trust that guidance

Be willing to follow that guidance

Notice I said "willing." You do not need to know HOW you will receive, how you could possibly trust or how you would ever be able to follow the guidance. Just be willing...that is more than enough. Be willing. And in the moments when you can't be willing...be willing to be willing to receive, trust and follow. And I will continue to practice what I preach and be willing too.

And remember, when we are willing to let our light shine, we give other people permission to let their light shine too. And that is how we serve the world in our very own highest possible way.